So much

Alex was "reading" the hungry caterpillar!! She went through each page, all the food and then showed us the butterfly page! It was totally unprovoked. She was just lying in bed and I caught on that she was doing this!!!

Patrick is a mimicking machine. He talks pretty well but he repeats anything you say!! He's obsessed with garbage trucks, dump trucks, fire trucks ..... Any vehicle. When he sees a mail truck, he says "mew mew" aka "mail"! So cute! And he calls every Prius "daddy's car". 

Sofi is just an amazing old soul. She hugs Patrick all the time. Even if he tries to hit her, she just hugs and kisses him. She loves to dance around.

Best Big Sis EVER!!

So we were in Arrowhead this weekend with SIL and family. On the last day the three girls were having a blast. E and Sofi were on the couch and got rowdy. They're both pushy so both hubby and I told Sofi to "stop it". Her waterworks started and I knew we had hurt her feelings because in her eyes she thought she was doing the "right" thing. Honestly, none of us saw what happened, so who knows. BUT .... Little Miss Alex gets out her pointer finger and lays into E! "That's my sister! She crying! You go say sorry!! She my Sofi!!" OMG - we died!! Little missy would not let up on her cousin! I kept trying to distract her - nope. Said a group sorry - nope. Eventually she gave up, but boy was she there for her sissy. This is what I want them to do forever. Have each others back - no matter what the situation. 

Oh boy, a lot to report

4/17/14. Alex had a febrile seizure. Not fun.

4/28 I put in my resignation notice

Yup. 

BooBoo is talking up a storm!! He identified Dora in the jungle of Walmart crap. He says "more", "please", and so much more. If you ask him what he wants, he will answer you correctly. He knows - trust me. If he says yes, then there is no arguing. 

He's a tiara/headband/MinnieMouse Ear wearing man. A real tough boy. But oh, if kookoor isn't around - he's sad.

And that blue dog is still around. 

We also got the girls helmets for their tricycles. Alex got a Barbie one and Sof got a Hello Kitty one. Alex has been so obsessed with it and she calls it her "hymen" yeah, we still think it's funny!!

my powerful little two year old

I had another one of those foot-in-mouth, gut wrenching, horrible awful moments last night. The kind that makes you want to wrap your itty-bitty in your lap and just cry and say how sorry you are. No mother should make their baby cry like that.

So life has been challenging these past few months. With DH getting an amazing promotion at work, he's been working long hours - as in he doesn't get home from work three days a week until about 11pm. Yeah - that bad. My job is just a PITA. I'm not happy. The company is not what it used to be, and it sucks when you know more than your boss. Like the basic things...not the details of your specific job. Plus my parents gave back their apartment so their not around as much. All of this means more presure on me to make sure the kids are happy, DH is happy, shopping is done, there is food for the kids, make our social plans and everything that goes along with that....oh and add to all of that the need to organize the house, plan a christening, plan vacations.....just so many little things. I'm overwhelmed.

So we had a super fun weekend. Went to the mall with the kids on Saturday. I even got to take Sof out on my own for ice cream and Trader Joe's. DH and I went to an adult birthday party. Spent most of Sunday out at the beach with the grandparents. So to say the least, we had an amazing weekend! But Sunday night, the house was a disaster! Sofi and Alex just wouldn't fall asleep. I sat with them for a while and tried to comfort them and calm them down so they would sleep. They pulled every trick in their tiny little books. And it got to me. At one point, I can't even remember what Sof said or did - but I told her she needed to sleep because I had other things to do and basically she "was getting in my way and wasn't worth the time I was spending with her". OMG - I don't know if it was my tone or what I said - but gut wrenching tears in the pillow. Like the kind that broke my heart into a billion pieces. That made be cry and want to hold her and make her understand how important she is. Not just to me but the world.

As much as I know a messy kitchen is not the end of the world, I like to leave the house in decent shape for the nanny. I know how it feels to start your day off with a messy family room/kitchen - you just never get a handle on it! BUT - is that really more important than being there whole heartedly for your baby. Not a chance in the world. And my two year old made me realize that.

She made me realize that I just need to put in my notice at work. Yes, it's going to be a very difficult adjustment. But oh so worth it. Like to the extent that I can't even imagine how amazing it will be to have the time to do little projects with all of them and help Patrick's vocabulary grow, and take them places. I just can't wait.

I do have alot of hesitation. Financially, we'll be just fine. No, we won't be going to Europe anytime soon, but we can still do what we do. We may not save as much, but whatever - we'll figure it out. The kids will need loans for college, but both DH and I did that and we turned out fine. I'm afraid of loosing the adult interaction and seeing some sort of accomplishment in what I do. But I need to do it. My heart will be so much happier.

This is one of those moments in life where you have to hold your breath and just "jump". There is alot of unknown. I don't know if I can actually do this whole full time mom thing. It's going to be so much harder than just being in the office. But I'm up for the challenge. And knowing that those three little faces are going to shine like a christmas tree every single day, is THE BEST THING in the world. I don't want to miss any more fun and amazing moments with them. As my mom says, why should the nanny get to see all of that??? Why should we miss out??? (don't get me wrong - I love the nany, but I gave birth to these little amazing humans!!)

So I need to do it this week. That little girl just made it all so real. My hemming-and-hawing about it is making me loose precious time with them. In all honesty, who know how much time I actually have with them. After reading the blog JLK's mom writes, it makes me realized what is important. I hope to god that my life is nothing even close to hers, but I will learn from her and make sure that JLK's legacy changes my kids. And I don't care if people will think I cater to every need or want my child has - they are my babies and they need to know that I will ALWAYS be there for them. Yes, they need to grow wings and fly on their own, but they need to know that they can always come back to me and I'm just waiting with open arms.

OK - I actually need to put some time into work. I need to get stuff done and build the courage to do what I need to do.

Cuteness

Seriously, I know they're my kids and I'm biased....but could they be any cuter???

I come home to sweet Sof with two adorable pigtails and giant shiny gold ribbon on each tail. Huge smiles from all. Then Alex goes and plays the piano while Sof and Pat dance and sing.

Then the girls are actually getting along and they each have their Sofia the First tin pail with the puzzle and decide to "hide" by the garage door. Total giggle fits and laughter and awesomeness!! THIS is what I live for. To hear the laughter and know that they have each other forever. Nothing can come between these two. Well actually THREE!!

Yes, baby brother got in on some serious cuddles from his sisters. All of a sudden, I see Patrick sitting on Sofi's lap and she's holding him there and snuggling up to the back of his head. I actually got some pictures of them cuddling like this. Alex even came over to Patrick and gave him a real hug with meaning behind it.

Yesterday, Diana was telling Alex to be careful with something on the counter, and apparently Sofi chimes in with a hug to Alex and says "she's my baby sister" in a very protective way, thinking that Diana was being "mean" to Alex! My dear Sofi - you act like the older sister for sure - but she's got two whole minutes on you!!!

And my little bubba. I walk in these days and get this totally magical smile from him. Melts my heart to no end. He FINALLY likes me!!! I had a scarf on the other day and he wanted me to take it off! "hana - hana". As if Alex wasn't enough of a fashion diva - now I have him as well!!

Bottles - So it's been almost two weeks that we stopped giving the girls a bottle. Alex hasn't had milk since then. Sofi seemed to accept it, and uses her sippy cup, but the other night she had a true melt down. It's been over a week, yet she cried for a good 15 minutes for her bottle. She finally settled down and decided to take her sippy cup. Broke my heart.

I think Sofi is just like her GoGo and her mommy - she takes care of everyone and acts all strong and tough and amazing. But deep down, she gets hurt too and she needs to let it out. She's just amazing. It's crazy to see this in her so early. I wonder if I come back and read this in 10 or 20 years, will she really be like this?

First real earthquake!!

We just had a 5.1 earthquake at 9:09pm. Girls were watching Cinderella and didn't feel it. They thought I was crazy running towards them! Patrick slept through it!! 

sickies, tempers and medicine

So we got hit again. All three have been sick. It started some time last week - I think Sunday. By Tuesday Alex had a raspy voice, then started with a slight fever and just didn't look too hot. We spent Friday night at Urgent Care. She had a double ear infection, pneumonia and wheezing. The word pneumonia scares me - they didn't do an x-ray just listed to her breath, but anyway, she had issues. Poor baby had to do a nebulizer treatment at the office, then was sent home with antibiotics, an inhaler and steroids. Fun stuff.

Patrick was fussy too, and we held off until Sunday, then it was his turn. He had a double ear infection too. Thankfully no lung issues, but poor buddy is still not doing too well.

Sofi - she's floating under the radar. She has the sniffles and isn't feeling too hot, but she's not as bad as her brother and sister.

Sofi and Patrick did throw up on Sunday - so maybe she did have something, but it hasn't been as bad as the other two.

Sofi did have to go to the pediatric GI doc. Poor thing has pooped blood a few times and it scares me!! Hopefully it was just a fluke and we won't see it again, but we do need to modify her diet. Cut dairy. That means cut the bottle. I'm scared to do it. I don't want to do it when they're sick. For a few days, all they would really do is drink milk.

So, Alex and Patrick are on Amoxicillan. It's liquid and we use the syringe to give it to them. They don't like it. It has a very strong bubble gum flavor and you can't hide it in anything!! Patrick doesn't like it and we hold him down and squirt it in his mouth. He's a tough cookie, but we manage. My Aunt was over this week and she helped me the other day in giving him his med. I can't remember who held him and who squirted the meds, but after we were done giving it to him and we put him down, he turned around and threw blue-doggie at her and huffed away. I died. It's not right to condone bad behavior, but OMG!! This kid gets me! He's drama all around!

Alex - goodness, she's another story. Stubborn and smart! She refuses to take her medicine too. Reasoning, threatening, bribes....NOTHING. I mixed it in chocolate milk, chocolate pudding, ice cream....NOPE! She can smell it. Heck, I can smell it!! She's stealthy too - she slides under the coffee table and refuses to come out. We have had to pin her down and squirt it in her mouth too. You would think that she knows we'll do this and to just willingly take the syringe - nope - stubborn as hell!! (wonder where she got that from!)

They're just growing so fast. Patrick has started to babble so much more. He's still obsessed with "dada", "papa", "hafoo" and "tatik"....BUT..."mama" is creeping in there!! I love it when he chooses to come to me, I love that he needs me and wants me and takes comfort from me. It's been tough watching my dad and husband being the two main sources of comfort for him. My jealous mamma heart! He also recognizes letters in general. He saw my shopping bag the other day and says "a-b-c"! He's also a dancing and singing machine! My parents got the girls a CD player/karaoke machine thing with two microphones. He takes the mike and sings. Adorable!

My mamma bear. We've been to the park a few time lately and there is usually another child there. Patrick loves to watch other kids and just observe. The other kids try to interact with him, and then Big Sis Sofi steps in. One kid was trying to play with Blue Doggie - OMG! I had to make the grandmother understand that this could be bad - very bad - and to get her grandson away! Then the other time, these two boys were playing around Patrick and Sofi stood there and shook her little finger at them! Diana doesn't know what she said, but basically that he was her brother!! LMAO! My protector. As my mom was saying the other day, she has alot of my grandfather's personality in her. She'll be an amazing little girl who will change the world! She's amazing!

And my little munchkin with the best imagination in the world!! OMG! She gets obsessed with having all of the Minnie and Mickey dolls around her. She cries and whines and collects them with a huff and puff. She wants them all around her. She takes them to bed and sits them up all around her. She puts them in bags and walks around with them, takes them in the car...OMG! OCD at it's best. Well she also sits in her bed and just plays with them and sings to them, I DIE when she sings. She's not going to be on the Billboard charts yet, but she is the sweetest!! So yesterday we go for a walk and she brings one of the Mickey dolls. All through the walk she comments "Mickey soooo sad" - we don't know where she got it from, but she wouldn't give up on it. She can sit there and play with things for ever! Her imagination is endless. She's also my puzzle whiz! This is one smart and imaginative little lady. This one is going to invent something big. Like really big. If she's half as smart as her daddy - the world will have her to thank for something amazing.

And here I am at work instead of being at home with them. I think I'm very close to officially making my decision. As difficult as it is, I want this time with them. I want to look back at my life and know that I was there for all their skinned knees and homework assignments and the one who taught them to write their name. I don't want someone else to do it. My job isn't rewarding anymore - at least not like the reward I get when I see that sparkle in the kids eyes. THAT'S and amazing feeling - not getting a thank you from a grown adult who should be able to pull a file and look up information. But it's hard. After some 20 years of working and having a paycheck - I won't have that. But in the end, I know it's only going to take a little getting used to.

February

I seriously don't know what to title the posts!

I hate that my babies are growing up so fast.

Friday was Valentine's Day. The kids spent the day baking cupcakes and decorating them with D. I loved coming home to that - but I also wish that it was me doing that with them on Valentine's Day instead of stuck behind a desk doing things to make others rich.

Unfortunately, my time with the cupcakes was short - I had to grab Sof and take her to the pedi. The day before, D and GG had seen some blood when she had a poop. They were both alarmed by it and of course...made me alarmed. Dr K couldn't see anything and told us it was a good thing that it was bright red, but to keep an eye on it and maybe take a picture next time and keep her up to date on things. She thought it could be from having some constipation and straining. I'm happy to report that she had three poops over the weekend and NO blood! So we'll see. Maybe it was a fluke.

While in the waiting room, (it was Sof, me and my dad), I had brought along the books she got for valentine's day. She was starting to color her Sofia the First book and I see that it's a picture from the episode called "Shy Princess". I couldn't remember the name of the shy princess so I just ask Sofi. She answers - Vivian! We haven't seen this episode in a while, but the kid remembered! Then yesterday, since H was going to be late, I met up with my parents at the mall. On the way home it was just me and the kids. Sofi - of course - didn't fall asleep. So at one point, as I'm trying to change the CD of the book I'm listening to, and realize that I can't find it, she asks for Sofia. I put it on. Then...she asks me to turn it up. Really????

So at the next red light I try to look for the CD again so I can listen to my story. She warns me that the light is green. :::sigh::: when did she get so big? I know we talk about red and green and that green means go. But seriously!!! My smart little cookie!!

Then we have Miss Alex who tells me to be careful in the car. Yeah - backseat drivers???

And poor P. He's teething again (still?) and boy does he get diarrhea when he's teething! Poor baby has such a red and sore bum. He was hysterical at the mall, because of a poopy diaper and being sleepy.

We also slept over at my MIL's this weekend with all the kids. We had a birthday party on Saturday and a brunch on Sunday, so at the last minute we decided to sleep over. E was there too. It was nice to have the kids together. But I thought having her sleep with P would be best, since he doesn't wake up at night....WRONG! Poor baby was up for about two hours. And he didn't want me. I think H finally got him to calm down by walking him around.

When we were ready for bed, Sofi grabs her baby doll and purse and announces "Sofi's home" - as in let's get moving and go home. Ummm sorry kid, we're sleeping here. Nope - that wasn't what she wanted. She was really good about it, but it also made her ask to go home when we were at the mall. Poor kid - how is she going to last two nights in San Diego???

Oh - and the party we went to - the grandma has twin girls (T&T). We were talking about things and she told me to always write everything down. Her girls always ask her who did what first and she can't remember (the twins have a sister about 3 years older - so the woman was busy!) So I'm going to try and make an effort to write more. It may be random like today, but at least it written down. Use your own intelligence and put it in order!

This came up because Alex had a bruise on the left upper arm. They asked what happened, and I said that Sof bit her a few days ago. Yes, Sofi is doing better at not biting, but she's two. She still does it once in a while when she's frustrated, tired and mad. Then it was discussions about what they wear. Well, on Saturday, Sofi pointed at a dress in the closet that they haven't worn (or at least in a long time) and I let her wear it. Then I just grabbed the "second one" that we had of it and put it on Alex. She didn't protest. But the shoes and accessories - Sofi wanted her pink Uggs with the bows in the back. Two bows in her hair and a headband. Then pink sunglasses. Yeah - little diva. Alex wore her pink Nike's when I gave them to her - no questions from her on that day.

But Sunday, after she woke from her nap at Grandma's (still don't know how Alina did that!). she refused the dress I had for her, then decided that she wanted to wear it OVER a long sleeve dress she was already wearing. And she slept in all of that.

Then in the middle of the mall, her shirt gets a little wet, and she makes me put on Patrick's PJ shirt. pot belly showing and all!! AND - at home, half asleep, she wants to wear underwear. I make her wear it over her PJ pants and diaper!!!!!

They are very different, yet I don't know how to explain it.

Sofi can stare you down. And she will at an initial meeting. Alex is shy at first and hides behind my leg, but once you give her a hello and a friendly pinch - she melts and loves the attention. Sofi is very protective and weary about the people around her - yet she is more assertive. They each waver as to who is easier to get along with - they are both stubborn in different ways. But Sofi is the mamma bear. A woman at the park even commented when she stepped in to help P. There is not way to mistake the fact that you better not cross her - hell hath no fury!!

I love my babies so so much. Miss them like crazy!!!!

January

Goodness, why are they growing so fast!!

Alex has taken with the English language In these few short months, she's really absorbing it. Now she goes around saying ..."I want tatik" or "I want..." REALLY!!!!

Patrick's language skills are improving too. He's very good at directing you to what he wants. The other night we were having tacos and we used all the "real" cereal bowls for the toppings. Patrick sees them and starts trying to say "cereal" (basically "see"). Yup - since daddy has cereal in those bowls every morning with him, he wanted cereal. He was pacified with some dry cheerios. But seriously - smart little cookie!

He also says "mee" for mickey/minnie. He'll grab the remote and look at the TV so you put it on for him. The other day Diana swore he was saying "teev" and staring at the TV.

Sofi is also starting to talk more. She's harder to understand, but I think i'm getting her language! She has all the words down, it's more about putting them together and hoping that we understand!

I thought we were over this whole flu/cold episode - but it looks like we're not. I have a cough that will not go away. It just started again last week. And poor Sofi didn't have a good night. Poor thing has been a little off the last day or two - not eating much at all. Yesterday she was feverish. Then in the middle of the night she woke up crying to pee and wasn't doing too well. She threw up. All we had managed to get her to eat were three tiny feta sandwiches and milk. It all came up. She gets so upset when she's sick that it breaks my heart. Thankfully that was the only episode so far.

January

Well apparently after my last post...we all got sick. I mean the one month flu. Yes - one month/30+ days of sickness in the house. But I think we're over it.

It all started after Patrick's party (12/8). Sofi got hit first, but I thought it was a little cold for just a few days. We went to a Christmas party on the 15th with slight runny noses, but didn't think much of it. A day or two after that, things got a bit worse. Sofi had a bad cough. Patrick wasn't doing too well. Everyone was mostly clingy and had a runny nose. Then the coughs cam in. Sofi ended up with a round of steroids to help her, and she was doing much better after that. Then Alex and Patrick got worse. Since it was the flu, we just had to ride it out. But we did manage to go through at least 2 bottles of Tylenol for the kids!

Did I also mention that all the adults also got sick??? Fun times. My mom, Diana and I were the worst. Hamik got it as a two day stint (which is why we thought the kids were getting over so soon after they got it). We've had what feel like relapses and just purely awful days. But I think we're all done now.

Not too many exciting things - even though it was the holiday's. We went up to GTown on the 23rd and spent the day with SIL and everyone. We decided to spend the night at MIL's house that night. It didn't go well - for many reasons. SIL had invited other family over, so we were waiting for them to come and it was already past 8pm. Patrick usually goes to bed at 7, but we tried to put him down in Emily's crib, and he didn't want any of it. The girls were tired too. So around 8:30 my mom and I packed up the kids and took them to MIL's to sleep, and I was going to come back to see the cousins. Didn't happen. Mom got the girls and they watched TV until they passed out, but it wasn't easy. They weren't happy campers. Patrick was a nightmare in his own right. I finally had to drive him around town to fully fall asleep in the car. I also had to put him in the girls car seat so I wouldn't have to crawl in and out of the car and wake him up. But even though that worked for a while, he was up again. To say it was a long night, was an understatement. And I want to take an actual trip and stay at a hotel with all of them....I may have officially lost my mind!! LOL!

The next day we went to one of my aunt's houses and hung out there for the afternoon. Then headed to my uncle's house at night.

Poor MIL's house looked like a bomb had exploded in there. She was cleaning up after us for over a week!! (It was spotless when we walked in on Monday night.)

Christmas day was fun, we were at home and R&L and the boys came over. The kids had fun playing and we tried to take it easy and just go with the flow. (apparently every pizza place in town was closed) Eh - we still had a great time.

For New Year's, we stayed at home. Two of my aunt's and their family came over. We celebrated with New York, and were done! They left early to get home before the crazy people came out. And we were so tired from work and being sick that we passed out.

We haven't done much since. Just trying to stay home and making sure everyone sleeps and gets better. I think we're there now.

The kids are doing awesome! Sofi and Alex are talking so much. Alex is my little English speaker. She'll mix the two languages: Kati-want! They are also doing much better with manners and helping to clean up. Sofi is a total mamma bear! She'll clean up after everyone. Give her a wet-wipe and she'll wipe everything down!

Patrick is just adorable and frustrating!! If you help him, he doesn't want it. Meaning, you try to change his diaper, and he wants nothing to do with that. You try to change him because he's wet - nope!! As H says - he's one of the few boys that don't love their mamma!! Well he's wrong. He still loves mamma snuggles at night! And I will soak it up!

I think he's finally getting another tooth #8!! But man do I love that smile and those teeth and that hair!! We have pictures on the 25th and I think I need to trim his hair. It's just a little unruly.